The truth

The truth is, I am devastated. So far it has been the weirdest summer of all. Most of the time I hid away for various reasons.

The few times I went out it was like I went directly into lion’s dens. Last time I knew what to expect but the other times I didn’t. The places and music I liked don’t seem a good fit anymore. Or, let’s say at the moment I cannot imagine to go out and be able to just enjoy it. I don’t enjoy the music anymore that I liked for many years. I liked listening to radio stations, now there is no joy in it.

I know a handful of people who believe my story, but most people around me think I have a psychosis. One of the reasons I prefer to hide away. Who wants to hear “you’re sick, you should see a psychiatrist” everytime they meet someone.

I just want to know the truth. Just a little “yes, hello it’s me. Let’s talk.” No expectations, no weird rules, no crowds. Just a little bit of time for see and feel face to face if the bond is worth further investigating or not. I believe there is a special connection, rare to find. But I can’t take this state of uncertainty anymore. I am devastated.