The violation of men

She has been on sick leave for a week now. The days are filled with tears. She watches tarot videos, trying to understand the collective energies. A lot of trigger messages come up. After every cry she feels a bit lighter. Today she finds a video with a message that just hits the nerve.

They’re telling the whole town they have pining to go and get you.

This is what he is been doing all the time! He put her on a public plate without asking for consent. Anywhere she goes she is being watched, someone pops up and takes pictures of her. In their weird forum she read many comments about her. What is she wearing, who is she with, what is she drinking, when does she leave etc.

The old buried wound cracks open. She has been on a public plate her whole childhood. She grew up in a small town, her father was a priest, so a lot of people knew her. Anywhere she went she met people unknown to her that approached her knowing her name. She had to attend birthday parties of kids she didn’t like, just because it was chique for the parents to be friends with her father. By all means she was always told to behave.

One of the worst daily threats later in life was the way to secondary school. Every morning there was a group of girls standing in a corner, they were attending the other school in the direct neighbourhood. She knew them from children’s service. Every morning one would greet with “Amen” or “oh look, there is the holy one”. She had no self defense mechanisms as holding everything together was already exhausting enough. There was no help from outside. The only coping strategy was to come to school ten minutes late.

To top it all, there was not the best love at home. The mother was too young and overwhelmed with her role as a priests wife. The father buried himself in work, partly because of staff shortage, partly because he probably was not able to give his wife the help she needed. Being the first child, she had to learn to adapt from her early days on.

In fact, she already learned to adapt to her mother’s emotions as a fetus in the womb. She grew in the womb being surrounded by pain. To protect her light, she built a black cocoon around herself. No light came in or out. At the time of birth she was so desperate and not wanting to go live with these parents, she tried to strangle herself with the umbilical cord. It didn’t work.

The only way to survive was to learn to sense the atmosphere of a room when entering it. This is how one becomes an empath. They have to go through hell.
Healing a lost childhood might take a lifetime.

Yesterday was the Conjunction of Mars and Chiron. The Violation of Men.